


Avengers Next Top Model

by firelord65



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: America's Next Top Model - Freeform, Cat fights and bitchiness to the max
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-17
Updated: 2014-05-17
Packaged: 2018-01-25 10:12:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1645004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelord65/pseuds/firelord65
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the following prompt by Mikimoshpit:<br/>So.. basically, my idea is this - The Avengers on America’s Next Top Model. Or all the Marvel people. I sound so unknowledgeable about this. But basically I want them all to be part of a model competition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Casting Call

**Author's Note:**

> Please note this is just the intro. More will be added.

                “So you know you’re all gathered here to compete in the sacred competition of modelling.” Clint’s voice rang out over the super tinny microphone he’d hooked up to Stark Tower’s PA system. Despite everyone looking rather confused (who in their right mind would call modelling a sacred competition?), he continued on speaking as though they knew precisely what in the hell he was going on about.

                “The prize for this particular competition has been posted by our glorious sponsor, Stark Industries” – “LIKE HELL IT HAS” – “via the fabulous Pepper Potts. Yes folks, the winner will be awarded the position of front cover model of this upcoming year’s Stark Industries company magazine, whether they be selling bullets or briefcases. The winner will also be allowed unrestricted access to the Miami beach house for the entirety of the year, again courtesy of Pepper Potts.”

                Something smashed through a pane of glass, followed by the completely remarkable sound of speakers exploding in high pitched moans. “This has been your host, Clint Barton.”

                “YOU ARE NO ONE’S HOST, BARTON. YOU ARE A MENACE TO WORLD PEACE.”


	2. Casting Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We begin to see our contestant's motivations and the "gentle" persuasion needed to gain their co-operation.

                It only took Tony three hours to be delegated to the judges panel. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to be playing fair when the lights in the other contestant’s rooms kept going out for “unknown reasons”. Pepper had excused herself to be on support – helping to round up the more reluctant of the contestants was essentially the same as trying to get Tony to file his taxes, so she didn’t mind the work.

                Clint had expected more resistance from Natasha and Bucky, but the pair of assassins was surprisingly accepting of the new situation. Part of him wanted to ask, but the other part of him valued the polite appreciation that the three of them had for each other’s work in the “field.” So he didn’t complain when Natasha only nodded silently at his insistence that they take the competition seriously. Then Bucky mirrored her motions ten minutes later and he got the eerie feeling that the pair of them was going to play _hard_ to get that Miami beach house access.

                Darcy had snuck in to get clearance into Stark Tower and was working on explaining to Thor just what this “contest of will and determination” was going to consist of. Her best explanation that the Norse god comprehended was that his actions would reflect greatly upon Asgard’s status as a nation and that he should take this challenge seriously. “It would be my honor to compete in this battle of physical perfection, Darcy,” he boomed at her before dropping to the ground to start doing pushups. Seven seconds of shouting “JANE HAS DIBS” in her mind was required to get her to leave the room, a new record low.

                “I am _not_ competing in this ridiculous beauty contest.”

                “But I can’t, so you have to. It’s in the science bro rulebook.”

                “I told you that I was not agreeing to anything that stupid, Tony.”

                “Nope, you rode in the car. You agreed to the rules of science friendship.”

                “NO.”

                “I CAN TAKE THE LAB AWAY.”

                “GET OFF MY INTERCOM, YOU POWER CRAZY MADMAN.”

                “MAKE ME PROUD.”

                *CRUNCH*

                Steve takes everything in stride pretty well. Too well, actually. Sam asks him what he thinks of Clint’s birdbrained idea. “Seriously, this doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that Captain America really cares about. I mean, Stark Industries hasn’t had the best PR in the past few years,” he muses.

                “But it’s based on a true American _icon_ , Sam. An icon of pop culture exclusive to America. How could I say no?” Sam doesn’t want to tell him about the “British Invasion” episodes that Clint had been suppressing from their viewership these past few weeks. Then again, he also doesn’t want to tell him that he really wants to win to get the VA some positive publicity at the head of ex-military supplier’s PR bandwagon.

                Coulson and Maria show up just before Clint’s next big announcement and it’s clear that they’re mad about being excluded. “Just because someone posted a Vine about this doesn’t mean that you get to close the door on who gets to compete,” Maria growled, looking pointedly at Natasha. The soviet spy doesn’t even flinch, and Maria enjoys the little victory at picking out who the “anonymous tipper” was to the Twitterverse. A brief fight breaks out between the new Director of SHIELD and “one of his fly by night idiots” which ends in Maria getting put on the contestant list and Coulson put on support with Pepper and Darcy.

                “Okay, so can I tell you who your guest judge is going to be now, or are you going to complain about this some more?”


End file.
